Wednesday, February 28, 2007

There's Something About Mary




There's something about Mary
I told her that she's scary
And she should get new clothes
maybe add some flair..

She looked at me with fury
and did something quite contrary
And told me that she liked my hair!
I was sitting right beside her
My eyes they looked inside her
and I tried to turn away
from that stare..

I got up in a second
A story I was makin
A tale that would get me
out of there!

She sprang up like a spider
and I was suddenly right beside her
She tried to make the sweetest face..

But I was now much the wiser
I felt our gap go wider
and the chance to run was almost there.

Yet there was something about Mary
that made me tell this story
She was my honey and I was her Bear..

So, I took her to the church
and kissed her on the porch
And a little house on the hills we shared.

We had one boy, one girl
We named them Tom and Pearl
and saw their future
before us unfurl.
They grew up to be famous
and gave us two a boost
But there was something about Mary
that made the kids never forget their roots.

Now, I feel we are old and dry
a couple of fish ready to fry
Our life we feel has been complete
a few regrets yes, but mostly replete..

Yet,I look at Mary now
and her eyes still have the glow
There is Something about Mary
that makes our river flow.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Get Busy Living, or Get Busy Crying

"If you are going through hell, just keep going" - Walt Disney

Monday(19th Feb)
Went to Uni with a fresh mind and a new resolve. I was determined to work hard on my project and to finish as much as I can in this week. Only 4 weeks left. I had lots to do. Started working in the lab at 9.30 am and went on till 3.30pm. Not at a stretch but with a lecture inbetween and a small lunch break. I listened to my favourite tracks as I worked on my circuit and work went well. However, I was dismayed to find my PCB not working. Maybe, I worked hard but in the wrong direction. Well, it was a good day's work anyway. I returned home by 17:00 and had dinner, read a bit and slept.

Tuesday(20th Feb)
I went to Uni with a new resolve and set to work on my project again. I had scheduled a meeting with my group members at 10:00. I had a thorough discussion about each members objectives and their progress. Things looked good with each of them except for mine. I was the project leader so it was a bit embarassing but hey..every one has his/her bad day. I then left for a lecture and got engrossed with the professor's head. The shine on the bald head(top) was a constant distraction and I soon lost what he was trying to say. I just copied what he wrote on the board while I thought about cracking a head on the prof's head. What will crack first? The egg or his head?
The day ended with me in the lab again with my head restin on my hands and my PCB looking kaput. The evening began on a good note with a football game on TV. Arsenal v PSV Eindhowen, Champions League. I had to leave midway for my friend's treat. The treat was for him getting an internship in Corus(steel company). We had a jolly good time, by jove with my first pint of Carling. It was yuck and bitter. I will never have it again. I couldn't really refuse the drink as I thought I would give it a shot. I felt a bit tipsy...yeah I know 1 pint n all...but couldnt help it. Once I was out of Bar One and walking I felt better. I think I laughed a lot and when I say lot, I mean a LOT! A few friends of mine imitated some profs and a few characters..it was hilarious. I couldn't stop. I slept at around 1am and had a good sleep.

Wednesday(21st Feb)
I had a lecture at 9 am, so I had to get up early and rush. I missed breakfast and reached the lecture theater just in time. It was a 2 hr lecture but finished in 1 and a half so I could go to the IT Centre and check my email. I shall fastforward to 1pm when I had my weekly project meeting with my supervisor. It was a rude wake up call with the supervisors telling me to start showing some results and get something ready for testing. This basically meant that I had to get my PCB(sorry..PCB- Printed Circuit Board) working properly. I also had to build two more circuits and so I had a loooooong way to go. And with only 3 and half weeks left, I was in deep shit and it was smelling bad. I was quite disheartened actually and I suddenly felt under severe pressure. The meeting ended at 2pm sharp as my supervisors had to rush off to an examiners meeting.
I made my way to the IT Centre and checked my email. I saw that Citigroup, the company I had an interview with the week before had sent an email. "We at Citigroup were impressed with your achievements and activities. However, there was a stiff competition and it was impossible to choose everyone. It is regret that we inform you that you have not been successful this time. We wish you good luck with your career and future".
That was great, and very touching. They also added that I could call up the next wednesday for feedback. I think I will and find out what went wrong because I thought it went well. I'll be frank and say that I was quite dejected. I was supposed to go for a basketball session with my friends but I ended up going to my room and falling flat on my bed. The rest of the day and evening was the usual. I was chatting with my cousin online and told her about this and how dejected I was. I ended up fighting with her..haha, but apologised later. I was really down.

Thursday(22nd Feb)
I woke up and decided that I am going to make this a good day. I attended lectures, got into the lab. My circuits failed me again and I was clueless. I spoke to a few professors who had no time to meet me. I spoke to a few friends who suggested a few things to do. It helped but not as I expected. Later in the day I went to meet my supervisor to get my exam marks. I thought I had done well, but no..I mean it was not a bad result but it was not a first class. I got a 64.4% overall. But the worst was yet to come. My supervisor told me that my expected grade in my project was 2.2(50-60%). I was shocked..I mean I knew I was struggling but this low!

Friday(23rd Feb)
I was in the lab the whole day. I met one of my supervisors for advice. He had no clue about what to do with the circuit and said that he will have to check the circuit himself. He gave me a few tips of what to do about the other things. I worked till 5.30 pm and was still unsuccessful. Pretty shite. My other supervisor did not have the time to meet me. Not surprised really, I guess thats how the way it is.

Saturday, Sunday
Relaxed and prepared for my interview with another company. Its on wednesday 28th Feb. Lets see. Arsenal FC lost to Chelsea FC in the Carling Cup final played at Cardiff. 1-0 up with Theo Walcott scoring his first in Arsenal colours before succumbing to 2 goals by Didier Drogba. "Football, ..Bloody Hell!" (Sir Alex Fergusson). A sad ending to a bad week.
Self pity? Feeling down? Things not going according to plan? Shit Happens?
Who knows how the next week is going to go....good/bad/so-so?
And then it keeps hitting me...
Shit Happens...Grin, bear the stench and clean it!!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Silence is Easy by Starsailor...

Everybody says that they are looking for a shelter
Got a lot to give but I don't know how to help her,
I should just let it go, till they learn how to grow
and how to liberate.

Everybody says that she's looking for a shelter
got a lot to give but I don't know how I felt her
They should just let it go, till these cities learn to grow,
and how to liberate.

Silence is Easy...it just becomes me
you don't even know me, you all lie about me.

Everybody says that I'm looking for a home now,
looking for a boy or I'm looking for a girl now
I can still let it go, I can still learn to grow
into a child again.

Silence is Easy..it just becomes me
you don't even know me, why lie about me?

Silence is Easy..it just becomes me
you don't even know me, why do you hate me?

...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

A Week to Remember

Welcome Back! How is it going? I am fine thanks. It has been a crazy week, almost like a new adventure. Lemme start from the start. The day ..Sunday, time... 15.30 hours, place....my room. I was reading a book called Hitler and Churchill - Secrets of Leadership, good book. Like the name suggests it talks about Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny and their camaraderie....Zoinks!!? Naah, dont worry, just checking whether you were reading or not. Ok,..good. You should now be actually reading this and would have left all other activities. So back to that book. Yeah, as the name suggests it is about Hitler and Churchill and talks about their leadership qualities and other similarities as well as differences. Good read.

Ok, so I read about 10 pages and then felt like checking my email. I was expecting some guy to email me stuff about my project and was pleasantly surprised to see an email from Citigroup. I opened the page and was shocked to find some lady from Citigroup asking me to confirm my interview for the job of a Summer Analyst. I quickly went to the Citigroup website to check which days are available. I was hoping with fingers crossed (the ones I wasn't using to type) that I have more than enough time to prepare. Nope, as luck would have had it, the dates available were 15th and 16th of February which means I had 4 days to prepare. This was the First round of Interviews, so they said it should be ok. I was not ok. My first proper job interview ...I closed my eyes, listened to some songs and I was alright. I felt confident but was very nervous. I feel nervous for many things...it's like a habit now. I started preparing for the interview by reading the Citigroup website, and trying to absorb various bits of information in short periods of time.

Later on in the evening, I spoke to my parents. They were happy and wished me luck. I told my mother I was feeling nervous. She immediately rubbished my fears saying that I have to face it and that there will be many more to come. I felt better after the talk and then proceeded to chat with my cousin sister who has a problem for every solution. I mean, a solution for every problem. I told her about the interview and that I was feeling nervous. She congratulated me and then proceeded to give me a pep talk which made me more positive. Life was beautiful again.

Interview? What Interview? Child's Play...I passed my first interview when I was about a minute old. The doctor who got me out and held me upside down had this quizzical look on his face. "Are you going to wail or not? Coz if you dont..you know what's going to happen!!" I was barely awake, I had no idea what these guy's were looking at me for...so I did what any normal baby would do...I let out a wail. Success..I had passed my first interview. Well done..This interview would be a breeze too.

The rest of the week just flew by. I spent my mornings attending lectures, afternoons working on the project and the evenings reading for the interview. I had applied for an Investment Banking summer internship so I needed to read about basic economics and business. I already had a habit of reading The Economist and The Wall Street Journal so I was upto date with recent business events. My father gave me some advice about the questions they might ask, and one of his colleagues called up to advice me too. The help was helpful.

Finally the day arrived. My train for London was at 8.30 am. I reached the station, got in the
train, sat down on my seat and breathed a sigh of relief. I was on my way...until I realised that I had forgotten to bring the piece of paper on which I had written the address. But not to worry, I called up my friend and he succeeded in navigating through the highly confusing Citigroup website to find the address of my interview venue. The train journey was for 2 and half hours. I got out at St. Pancras station, caught a tube on the Picadilly(not sure) to get off at Green Park. Then, I caught the Jubilee Line tube and got off at Canary Wharf.

I found a guy who looked like he could direct me to the Citigroup building and asked him. He had this uninterested look on his face, reminded me of those crocodiles on Animal Planet who would just laze in the sun. Growl.. Anyway, he turned out alright and after a few repetitions of my question he understood what I meant. "Turn right, walk down the escalator, go through the glass doors and Citigroup is to your right". Thank you kind sir. I followed his directions and ended up facing a dead end. There was this huge wall in front of me! I was tempted to follow Gandalf and say the elvish phrase "Ballor" to see the wall open and lead me to Citigroup..but no..this wasn't the Lord of the Rings.

After consulting a few more people, I finally found the place. Canary Wharf was amazing! The whole atmosphere was out of this world. Posh huge buildings, and people dressed in suits walking past me. I had expected something like this..but this was great. To my right was Citigroup, to my left Lehmann Brothers, in front of me the Thames River, and to the side a giant news ticker displaying the latest business news and share prices. This meant "Business".
I still had 2 hrs to kill, so I went to Starbucks and sipped a cappuchino and nibbled on a Double Chocolate Doughnut...which was yuck. I spent about an hour and a half there, and stared at the people passing as I sat near the window. At 1 pm , I finally decided enough was enough and walked towards the Citigroup building. Got in , and informed the receptionist that I had arrived. While I was seated in the reception area, I met a girl who was also there for the interview. She was quite nervous as well and we chatted till the interview time. It was good as it sort of cooled our nerves. Her name was Asia..but she was British. She was born in Hongkong it seems. Kool.
We were led to the conference room upstairs and we met our interviewers. One guy was Pakistani called Womick, or Womik, no idea about the spelling. Nice guy, and the other was a Swedish fellow. Nice guy again. Asia was interviewed by the Swedish guy first , and I was interview by Womick at the same time. He asked me a few general questions at first and then proceeded to ask me some logic questions. "What is the angle between the hour hand and the minute hand of a clock when the time is 3.35?" and the second question was " What is 99x99 without using pen, paper?". I managed to answer them fine.

The other interviewer asked similar questions..and then by 3.30 it was over. I couldnt believe I had just finished two interviews...I know..big deal..but, my first proper job interview! I thanked the interviewers and left the building. That half a minute in the elevator was just amazing. I felt this nice feeling inside, and I suddenly felt more confident of myself. I then went and sat down on a bench on Canary Wharf...just to soak in the atmosphere. My train to Sheffield was at 7.30 pm, so I had about three hours to kill. I took the tube to Westminster and sat down on a bench beside the river Thames. Spoke to a few friends in London, and around the city. I then just roamed around the place, until it was time to get back to St. Pancras. Train arrived on time, went in and sat down at my seat...A tired man, but one whose confidence had definitely been boosted. I will know whether I go on to the next round of the interview by Wednesday(21st)..but whatever the result, it has a been a learning experience. And as my mother always says, its the experience that counts and what you learn from it.

Then came friday, saturday and sunday..and now I am writing this blog. I had planned many things for the weekend but I couldnt do them all..but nevermind. There is always another day. It's been a crazy week, but one that I will never forget.

Finito...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Sick of being Sick

I've been sick. And now i am Sick of Being Sick. Started with fever and sore throat. Then, fever subsided, to be replaced with cold and cough. Then, I was visited by my old friend...Conjunctivitis. We had met once in 7th grade..I had told him we would meet again. Anyway, after that..attended my project meeting on tuesday. Attended some boring lecture on wednesday. It started off well, its about our module which has a mini project in it. But then this proff entered the room to give a lecture about disability. He showed some video about his mum and dad, and how difficult they found it to open jars. Zoinks!! No offence to anyone, the topic was interesting, but his long drawling voice made me fall asleep pronto. I woke up to find my eyes watering again. And people looking at me and asking what time did I go to sleep coz my eyes were strawberry red.
Anyway..enough. Read the following chat messages..and you would kind of guess how my week's been. Cheerio then, and C u around. Keep smiling.

- Hey Chenoblee,..alrite?
(After 30 sec wait)
- Timbuctoo, i m fine yaar how abt u?
- Things goin fine here 2 man, bit sick. Conjunctivitis n all , cough , fever...u know usual.
- Ass, whts usual in that? anyway, get well soon ttyl
- Oye! where u running off 2? saala, paanch min bhi baat nahi karta! gud for nothing
- Abbe o, i m a busy man, i have to watch CSI now. Kya? Tere jaisa nahi hoon main, full time sleeping or chatting.
- OK ok, dont embarasss me on net. Get lost bugger
- U tc 2

------------------
- Chenoblee, Yo man wassup?
- Kish Kish ,Yo man wassup?
- i m fine
- im fine
- stop copying me
- stop copying me
- hows ur day been?
- day fine, conjunctivitis, cough n cold, been resting.
- conjunctivitis...oye u should not be on the comp man.
- i know, but i m gettin bored sleeping man, n if i sleepp then there is this cough
- ok ok, u take care.
- yeah i m !
- man its snowing outside
- yeah , i know..man i wish i could go out n play in the snow..
- u can do that now man, of course ur cold n cough will take care of itself
- lol, :D
oye, why arent my smleys trning?
- hota hai..life mein sometimes, turns nahi aate
- :D:D So wht u upto?
- Took my girlfriend out on a date. ended up fighting, so dropped her off and i m back on the comp. These girls naa...so much natak.
- hahaha..
- Then i saw this girl man, blonde hair n all. Whoa she was a classic i tell u. straight from those 40's movies. I m going to take the next step 2morrow.
- oh..venturing into unknown territory, where no man has been ever b4...dude, u r going to get shot one of these days.
- Courage is destiny man...anyway, i gtg. Have to return the libray books.
- kool , cu around man
- Cya

--------------------
- hi wassup
free?
- heyyy
- shahrukh style eh?
- huh? oh hahehehe
- hows ur day been? m sure more eventful than mine
- was out from 9 in the morning till 9 in the nite, then had to a friends party, endedup totally clueless, it was theme party! haha, and then i had to rush back home
how abt u? :)
- been a bit sick, fever, cold cough n then conjunctivitis.
- oho! met the doc?
- yeah, gave me some drops. fevers gone..cold cough still there, eyes still sore but better
just had breakfast..bread munching
- eat well!! :)
- yeah! i m !
- eat chocolates
- but dont they cause more cough?
- well, eat little, dont overdo it,
--------15 sec pause-------
- ok..well..will Bourbon chocolate biscuits do?
- yup , attack :)
- haha
- chal i m off, eyes watering
- bye take care
eat well!!:)
- yes maam!!
- get welll soooon!!!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Cause and Effect

"Did you see the pictures on TV?" Raza was referring to the blasts in Baghdad the night before. Suicide bombers had entered the market place and killed 25 people.
"No, I don't have a TV. Thanks for reminding me again." Azim was referring to his TV which had been stolen the night before. Living in a shack 2 blocks from the police station offered no protection whatsoever. The shack was built on sweat and hard earned money by Azim's father who was a construction worker. A resilient and honest worker, he had made enough money to build a shack and send his two kids to school.
"Hahaha, sorry for that ..again! But don't you worry man, come over to my place. My mother is making rotis and dal today. It's going to be a feast. We can watch something on TV. Raaj told me that Cartoon Network is now in Hindi. Sahi naa?" Raza's english was not too good. He could understand what Porky Pig was doing to Bugs Bunny, and he could laugh his head off. But with hindi it was going to be a blast.
"Whassap Doc? Whassap Doc? Haha, it's great. Yeah, I might come over Raza. But I have to finish my homework first. You know how my sister pretends to help me and then puts me in more trouble. So I have decided to do it on my own, no matter how much time it takes."

"Ok, ok whenever you want to. Now watch this.", saying this Raza walked towards the pipeline. He jumped over it and landed on some yellowish squishy semi-liquid stuff. Raza slipped and fell on his back. The stench of human feces made him squirm his nose for a second. But he was used to it. They all were. Azim couldn't disguise his laughter and Raza joined in too.
"Cmon, lets go. I am sure you have another shirt". Azim was pointing to Raza's wet shirt.

After walking for five minutes next to the main road, they took the right near the bus stop and walked towards the sweet shop. " You know Azim, my teacher tells me that Hindu's and Muslim's should not fight. We are all the same."
" Yeah I think the same. Raaj is a good guy. I don't know why I would want to kill him. Why do people kill? I don't know. The lunch he brings is always the best. I mean, his mother cooks so well. I would never want to kill him", said Azim.
"Haha, yeah, we are all the same. You know, once my father entered a house of some wealthy Muslims. He did not know that they were muslims. But once he found out, he immediately withdrew. I don't know why he did that. He told me never to hurt a fellow Muslim." Raza's father was a thief. He stole enough so that his kid could go to school and not become a thief like him. It was a risky business, but Raza's father was good at what he did and was as slippery as an eel.

"Hey guys, wait up" Raaj came running up the street and stopped before Azim and Raza. " Why didn't you wait for me, guys? I was only 10 minutes late."

"Raaj, Raaj it doen't matter man. Let's buy the sweets. 3 eclairs Ramu chacha"
After carefully checking for any disparities in the size of the three eclairs and satisfied that they had equal shares, they placed the elixir of life in their mouths and chewed to glory. All three smiled and looked at each.
"Eclairs.Eclairs....What is this life if full of care, we have no eclairs to eat and share?? I forgot who wrote that, I never pay attention in class anyway", said Raaj, clearly satisfied with himself and his Eclairs. Laughter, laughter and resignation when they finished with their eclairs.

" Raaj, what do you think about Hindus and Muslims man?" asked Azim.
"Well, I am standing here with two Muslim friends. Haha, cmon man, we are all friends. I dont really care if my friends are Sikh or Hindus or Muslims. As long as the person is nice to me and likes Eclairs, I am their friend."
"Hmm...I was watching the news yesterday. You know, all these fights everywhere. America attacking Iraq, Israel- Palestine, it's everywhere. We hate each other. I felt really sad", said Raza in a rather maudlin tone.
" I agree Raza, it hurts me too. But do we really care? I am more concerned about my tests coming up next week. If I don't pass, I will be thrown out of my house yaar! What then? We are friends, some people want to fight. Let them. It's not our business" observed Raaj. Raaj was the wiser of the two, atleast thats what he thought. He was older by a couple of years. But he had failed twice. Sixth grade was difficult, but he had promised himself he would do it this time.

" Hmm,..good good. Yeah, what do we really care about? We have better things to worry about. I need a another Eclairs. Want one guys?" At the same time, unnoticed to the three boys, a van screeched itself to a halt on the other side of the road. Seven hooded men got out. They had swords in their hands and a couple of grenades. No one noticed them in the market. After all, this was the busy time of the day. And in Mumbai, no one really cares about what the other person is doing. The city that never sleeps.

" Charge. Kill anyone who comes in your way. Bloodshed. Kill them all. Make this the biggest of them all!!!", the hooded man who seemed like the leader bellowed.

The seven hooded men, ran in different directions. At the same time, BOOOM!! blasts everywhere. People thrown up in the air, everywhere. Silence...and then pandemodium. People running everywhere. Women holding whatever grocery they had bought ran helter skelter. A man holding his cut arm ran past the sweet shop. No one noticed the three boys lying on the road. One of them was still breathing. Azim lay on the ground. Motionless. He had heard about heaven and hell. This was nothing like it. He slowly tried to get up, but couldnt. He raised his head and saw that his leg was caught under the aluminium roof. Nearby lay Raza and Raaj. He shouted out to them, but they did not respond. He half smiled, realising that the eclairs they ate were the last ever by Raaj and Raza. Azim felt a sharp pain in his hand, something was inside his arm. It looked like some sharp object...he fainted.

----------------
The Next Day...

"Good Morning everyone. 13/7. The day Mumbai was once again stopped in its tracks by a series of bomb blasts. Initial reports claimed that there were 10 blasts throught the city, but was later brought down to 8. 205 people are already dead and 500 hundered are injured. The most severely hit area has been the Lowranji Market area where an estimated 50 people are dead and many more injured. People are stunned and are blaming the government for doing nothing. Chief Minister Rajnath Mungekar has strenously denied any lethargy on part of the government and has promised complete compensation to all family members of the dead and injured. But what we, the people want to ask you Mr. Mungekar is what was the Government doing before the blasts? Latest reports say that the government had indeed received threats from the terrorist gangs but had not done anything about it. Clearly, the results are for all to see. The opposition leader Mr. Gopinath Thakur has once again come out with a bold statement challenging the current government and warned of anarchy and riots if things are not controlled.
But, what about the people? Has anyone thought of the people? The most depressing image of two boys found dead lying outside a once existing sweet shop have been printed on the front pages everywhere. The common man once again suffers. Where are we going? Is this the Mumbai we envisioned? .......

....And finally, in a salute to the people of Mumbai we present a 2 minute video showing the strength, resilience, and spirit of the Mumbaikar. The city that never sleeps. We respect you and feel for you in such trying times. This is Anurag Shastri for CBCD news. Goodnight."

-------------
Azim stared at the TV screen in front of his bed. He was lucky to be alive. Two broken bones, and some stiches on his left arm. Amputation was required for his left leg. Right now, he was in his hospital bed looking at the news. Anurag Shastri had just concluded his news bulletin. He looked sombre. Don't know if he really meant that look on his face. Azim kept thinking. Maybe, Mr. Shastri stays in Delhi or Calcutta, dont know where this is broadcast from. Maybe, he has a family, a happy family with two cars, a lawn etc. Maybe, someone like him would come and lend some money to Azim's parents for hospital bills. Oh sorry, just one parent, his mother. Azim's father was not to be seen anywhere after the blasts. His mother had no idea where he had dissapeared. Maybe he is dead,..maybe..he was..one of the masked ...no. No. Azim's father would never do that. Why would anyone kill? Azim had just lost two best friends. Why would his father endanger his own son? Not possible no. Raaj's father was missing too. Could he....no..Azim didn't think so.
His mother was now asleep on the chair. There was a lot of noise in the corridoor outside, many more people were being brought in. There was some kind of smell in the room. Don't know what.
Dont care really. Why do people fight? Politics, Religion, Borders, Faith, Race, ...do I really care? It doesn't affect me. I live a normal life. Other people do the same. Let them fight it out. I don't really care. It never affects me! Or does it? Is it already affecting me and I have no idea? Why is this world so confusing? Azim finally dozed off at 2 in the morning. Outside,..sirens and people shouting. Maybe, it's the start of another riots. Mumbai..the city that never sleeps....